。- ペニシリアム。

It's too late

...: i wish i could turn back time
...: and treat u differently
...: but i think u would still dump me
-. Zhou + .- : no, even if you could turn back time, you should be who you are, don't change
-. Zhou + .- : and thats how I want things to be
-. Zhou + .- : be natural
...: i think i should have paid a bit more attention to u
...: not change who i was/ am
...: i ignored u in a way
...: :)
...: it felt good to be with u
-. Zhou + .- : :)
-. Zhou + .- : it was one good memory huh? ^^
-. Zhou + .- : i mean it still is
...: yeah
...: hehe
...: i missed u
-. Zhou + .- : :)

Signs of a Promising Relationship! (Something to learn)

The Dating Scene - Signs of a Promising Relationship

Celine was just starting to date again after a difficult breakup. She was feeling anxious because she didn’t want to go through another unhappy relationship, but she didn’t trust herself to make good choices. She sought my help in learning how to discern a promising relationship from one that is bound to fail.

In Celine’s last relationship, she had been pulled in by Gary’s ardent pursuit of her. She had wanted to go slower but didn’t listen to herself. Instead, she gave herself up to Gary’s attention and compliments.

“Celine, my experience with men who come on strong right away is that they are often controlling and needy. Is that what happened with Gary?”

“Yes. He seemed so loving and open at the beginning, but once we were in a committed relationship, he started to pull on me for time and attention. He became critical and angry and petulant when I didn’t give him what he wanted. How could I have known all this at the beginning? What should I look for now that I’m dating again?”

Celine had gone on one date with a man named Mark. After this first date, Mark emailed her, saying that he wanted to spend a lot of time with her and go on a trip with her.

“Shades of Gary,” she said. “This is a red flag, right?”

Celine and I explored some of the red flags as well as some of the signs of a promising relationship.

SOME RED FLAGS

• Comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship.
• Becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no.
• Becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience. Tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.
• Talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn’t ask you much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself.
• An older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships.
• Numerous broken marriages.
• Has an abusive background and has not had therapy.
• Has abandoned his or her children.
• Not open to learning from relationship conflict.
• Participates in addictions that are unacceptable to you – smoking, drinking, drugs, addictive eating, gambling, TV, and so on.
• Financially irresponsible.
• Not truthful.
• Has few friends.
• Judgmental of self and others. Talks about self and others in disparaging ways.
• Is possessive and jealous. Gets upset when you do your own thing.
• Totally different views from yours regarding religion and/or spirituality.
• Few interests and hobbies.

Celine and I discussed the fact that you get what you see.

“It’s not that people can’t change,” I told her, “but you can’t change them. If he is not okay with you the way he is right now, then don’t pursue the relationship. If you are an on time person and heis always late, don’t expect this to change. If it’s not okay, then don’t pursue the relationship. Same thing with weight, being neat or messy, being a free spender or being frugal. These issues can become huge problems in relationships because people expect them to change and get very upset when they don’t.”

SOME SIGNS OF A PROMISING RELATIONSHIP

• Shows respect for your feelings and needs, even when they are different from his or her feelings and needs.
• Is able to be empathic and compassionate.
• Is interested in what you have to say and in learning about you.
• Is accepting of self and others – non-judgmental.
• Is open to exploring conflict and differences of opinion.
• Does what he or she says he or she will do.
• Cares about being responsible for children from a broken marriage – has not abandoned his or her children.
• Takes responsibility for his or her own feelings, health and well bring. Does not make you responsible for his or her feelings.
• Is financially responsible. Does not expect you to take care of him or her financially.
• If divorced, takes responsibility for his or her part of the difficulties.
• A person who was in a loving relationship and lost their mate to death. People who have been in loving relationships generally know how to have loving relationships.
• Has friends that you like.
• Talks about others in caring and supportive ways.
• Has interests and hobbies that are fulfilling to him or her.
• Similar religious or spiritual path to yours.
• Is supportive of you doing what brings you joy. Feels joy for your joy and pain for your pain.
• Can laugh at mistakes. Has a good sense of humor.
• Has balance between work and play. Knows how to work hard and how to have fun.

Before you can find the “right” person, you need to become the right person. Doing your own inner work so that you can fit the descriptions above for a promising relationship is the first step in finding a loving relationship.

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Green Penicillium?

There He Goes Again…

God, I pray that this will be the first time and also the last time I work with this lab partner of mine… No, a monster… He is suppose to send me his presentation slides so that I can compile them tonight. But till this hour I receive nothing from him.

神様、助けてくれ。。。

*Head banging table…*

My landlady’s father is so cute. He went on and on with “curry chicken” for numerous times during dinner. I think he mentioned approximately 6-8 times “curry chicken” within 30 minutes. Not to say he is “nyanyuk”, he is not, he is very clear with the things he does, hey, he is a good cook! Although he is as old as around 80+ of his age, he is still a very strong man who cooks, who drives, who does his gardening periodically in the garden.

Then, out of a sudden, he said “KARI AYAM”! Within split second I turned to him and asked him “HOW’D YOU KNOW ABOUT ‘KARI AYAM’?! YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF ‘AYAM’?!?! BUT HOW?!?!”

I was shocked, how does he know Malay??? He is from Hong Kong! That was then my landlady told me that he used to travel in Malaysia and study the Malaysian cuisine. No wonder I always feel like home whenever I have dinner with them, the cookings are similar to the Malaysian’s taste. Then the two daughters who are in their primary were laughing at me due to my “Out-of-a-sudden-reaction”.

I found the slug (see above) in my toilet few hours ago. Most of my friends think it is gross, but I thought it is cute??? Wanted to kill it at first by washing it down the drain, but it is too cute, so squishy… =3  Anyway, I caught it and set it free in the garden.

“Take care! Judia! Bye bye!!!”

Green-Penicillium?

Sleepy Under The Solemnly Moment…

Tell me. From this picture, would you rather study your microbiology notes this thick on your bed to prepare for the upcoming final exam,

OR

To lie down on the bed, relaxing while listening the sounds of the raindrops hitting lightly on the window instead?

No matter how determined I went after complimented by my senior as being “the most hardworking student she ever met so far” in the lab this afternoon, I still fall, surrender myself to the chilly raining weather out there. How silly huh? ^^

But it was indeed a surprise when she told me that, I didn’t do as well as she expected I would in my laboratory report. Out of her concern, she was asking if I had any problem with the report, that’s when she told me that she is very happy with the way I work, and acknowledged me as the most hardworking student. I couldn’t believe what she said to me at the first place, and I went “REALLY?! I AM?! WOW!”

I shall work even harder now.

Green Penicillium?

Sample collected!

Went to the sink in the kitchen to collect some biofilm found in the sink drain. After swabbing, I felt disgusted. Yuck… I feel like throwing up… =.=”

The biofilm is grey-ish brown in colour… Pseudomonas aeruginosa??? ま、多分。

Green Penicillium???

Daylight Saving Time (DST)

Alright, it is the DST now, means I am no longer 2 hours ahead of the Malaysia time but 3 hours instead.

To be honest, I am still suffering from jet lag, and now the DST. And when it was DST already, it happened rather funny (Hey, it’s my first experience!)

I was studying on the table, and I got 1 hit KO by immunology. And the next thing that happened to me was falling asleep on the table.

“It’s 4 Hour (0400 Hr).” My laptop announced.

I woke up and realized I was still wearing my watch, it indicated 3am in the morning, and I thought my watch is running low on its battery (Well, just woke up, was blur). Then I noticed it was ticking. And that’s when I thought “Could it be daylight saving time already?”

I checked the clock on my phone and I saw the “sun” = DST!

Hmm… Does it means I lost an hour of sleep already?!?! Since the clock jumped 1 hour faster!

I do not know why but it seems like I got troubled by this tiny little matter. I have no idea how it works. So, do I still have my meal at 6.30pm or 7.30pm?

Green Penicillium?